The unravelling of W00tage…

Rejected, huh? Life goes on. I guess it just means I get to sleep more during my summer holidays… I could tell from the initial sound of her voice and her elongation of every word that I knew it was going to be unsuccessful news.
Sigh, confidence, huh? I actually have an entry in draft about my Deloitte interview, which I started immediately after the interview, but I didn’t end up finishing -it would be pointless to publish now. I realised a few hours after the interview, I kept on downplaying practically everything about myself. I am not a confident person anyway, but at 9am, it’s a bit hard to bang on my own drum about my achievements. I had written in my draft, that after the interview I had only one word to describe it: strange. The Partner asked some really strange questions, some seemed left of field to me, plus I ended up revealing maybe too much unnecessary aspects of myself. I don’t think it’s a plus to tout that your Myer-Briggs is an ISTJ… I could have just said, I haven’t completed the test, but I have heard of it. In retrospect, there were also times where he gave suggestions or commentaries that just made me feel stupid and inferior, as if I had no critical thinking skills… It was a time where I needed to prove myself, but I just flopped. If only I was a person who twisted words around to make me sound better or as good as I am, as opposed to being someone whose conversation is full of self-depreciation and dejection. I am just not one to sell myself…
In other problems, my 340 coding is also a big dilemma. I should have finished by now -everyone else has-, but the constant bugs I keep on finding, discourage me from progressing any further. What the heck am I going to do about 340? I feel terrible about it, much more so than the rejection. Why do I have to be so terrible at coding? Follow the SQL query and UPDATE, you Mail()!
Hmm, I guess this means I’ll be going through the whole bloody process again next year, huh? Sigh, completed over 15 applications and all rejected. I’m presuming that I have been also rejected from ANZ because I felt my interview performance was quite ordinary. Plus, they should’ve called by now if I was successful. Oh, to have to answer inane behavioural questions, receive rejection letter after rejection letter, be psychometrically tested, compete against others in group tasks and interrogated by various seniors and partners again? Definitely, not looking forward to it.
Damn it… Here’s to regaining some much needed sleep over summer then.  This two-week break was no holiday at all, so I guess I will be rewarded with a proper holiday over summer then. Bye bye vac work… I wish I could wallow in my dark corner and grow mushrooms (Ouran reference…), but I must fix my 340. Every time I look at the clock, it’s another new hour. The dark corner is all-alluring, but 340 is of a higher priority. Wallowing is comforting, but the side effects of procrastination are not…

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